Bible Study Verse
For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. This verse can also relate to your marriage.
One of the best examples of learning to be a servant is in the movie Fireproof. Caleb Holt wasn’t getting along with his wife and tells his father that he is about to get a divorce. Caleb’s dad asks him to wait 40 days before moving forward. Dad’s challenge is to work a day-at-a-time through a handwritten book The Love Dare.
The plan in the 40-day exercise was to change Caleb from a self-centered person to a willing servant. Caleb was especially stubborn, for him it took more than 40 days. The lesson is that if you commit yourself to serving, it will make a difference in any relationship.
If you saw the movie, after the 40 days did you notice Caleb’s wife came running to him after weeks of running from him.
One of the most difficult lessons we must learn is that we’re not here on earth to serve ourselves. When we think we are, we lose. When we serve others and Christ, everyone wins.
Find your purpose outside yourself through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Find your purpose in marriage by serving your wife even when its inconvenient.
Sportsmen’s Tip of the Day
Here are thirty nonsexual ways to cherish your bride through words and acts of affirmation. And by the way, these are nonsexual so thatyou speak her romantic love language. It’s important to remember that you are not doing these things to get something in return. Perhaps she will reciprocate in your language back to you, but that’s not your goal. Are you ready?
1.Hug and kiss her every morning before leaving the house. Research indicates that marriages that practice this simple discipline are much healthier than those that don’t. If she’s sleeping, leave her a note, or gently kiss her forehead and whisper, “Have a wonderful day, sweetheart.”
2.Reach across the front seat of the car when you drive and hold her hand, even for a few moments. Allow your fingers to become entwined.
3.Write, “I’m crazy about you, Honey. You’re the best!” or another personal message on a yellow sticky note. Attach it to her bathroom mirror.
4.Call her from work and say, “I’ve been thinking of how good I have it with you in my life. Thanks for all that you are as a woman and all that you do for me and our family.”
5.The next time you get a pair of tickets to a ball game, theater, or concert that she’d like to go to, make a sacrifice. Instead of going with a buddy, tuck them in her purse with a note saying, “You deserve a night off. Have fun with a girlfriend.”
6.Go an entire day without criticizing anything about her. Instead, try to notice her doing something that you really appreciate, and tell her how much you value her.
7.Go to bed at the same time with her for a week; just talk or read a book and share the quietness together. Or play a card game that you used to play when you dated or were just married.
8.Brush her hair and compliment her hair and eyes.
9.While she studies her face in the mirror, come up behind her and gently kiss the back of her neck. Say, “God broke the mold after He made you. You are so beautiful.”
- Evict late night talk show hosts from your bedroom. Cart off the TV and when she asks what you’re doing, tell her you’d like to start making a habit of listening to her rather then a couple of middle-aged men in pancake makeup.
- Call her or send her a text mid-afternoon and ask her how her day is going.
- Try your hand at making breakfast on Saturday morning. Tell her she deserves a break and should feel free to sleep in.
- Take her car to the gas station, fill the tank, vacuum the floor mats, and clean the windows. When you park it at the house, leave a note on the dash with just a heart and the words, “Thinking of you.”
- Write her a short love letter in which you list several ways that she has blessed you this year.
- Resurrect common courtesies. Start opening the car door for her as you did when you dated, pull out her chair for her at the dinner table, offer your arm while walking down stairs, and help her put her coat on.
- If she’s doing the laundry, pull yourself away from whatever you’re doing and offer to bring the hamper.
- Put the toilet seat down when you’re finished, and wash your hands. I’d estimate that 40 percent of men don’t. Our wives do know. Stroking her face after you’ve been to the bathroom suddenly loses its romantic appeal!
- Put down the newspaper or turn off the computer, and say, “Why don’t we go for a walk and talk? I’d love to hear about your day.”
- If you overhear her engaged in a difficult situation on the phone or with a child, compliment the way she handled the conversation.
- Initiate daily prayer with her. This one spiritual discipline has transformed millions of marriages. Make a commitment, and then begin to pray together every day. Begin by giving thanks for her and your family, then pray with her about her worries and challenges. Ask her to pray for you about a challenge you are facing.
- Say, “Thank you,” after every meal she serves. Then help her clear the table or offer to do the dishes with her.
- If she has wrestled with a specific spiritual issue (such as gossip, envy, a lack of compassion), tell her how much you appreciate her desire to handle it in a godly manner.
- Express appreciation for her doing the laundry and folding your clothing.
- Each day try to say, “I love the way you _______ ,” and fill in the blank with something you’ve observed.
- When your wife irons your shirts or picks up the dry cleaning, say, “Thanks, Honey, for taking such good care of me.”
- When the alarm goes off in the morning, wrap your arm around her, press your body next to hers, and cuddle for several minutes. When you leave, say, “I wish I didn’t have to go.”
- The next time you go to dinner, say, “You’ve had a tough day, Sweetie. Why don’t you pick the spot tonight?”
- When you are together in a crowd, find a way to brag on her. Say, “My wife is such an amazing cook,” or “I’ve got the best wife-her ______ never ceases to amaze me.”
- The morning after making love, touch her tenderly, and tell her how wonderful it was to be with her.
- With your wife in the room, tell your kids, “You’ve got the best mommy in the world. Isn’t she great? I just love her so much.”
Bonus for those with young families: Help her put the kids to bed each night.
For some men, the thought of affirming their wives sounds like a lot of work. Others are anxious about being so vulnerable with displays of affirmation. Whatever the reason, they hesitate to step out and pursue the call to love found in Ephesians 5:25 (NKJV): “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.”
If you’ve hesitated affirming your bride, or if you’ve been slow to praise her qualities, trust me on this: just do it. Affirming your wife through even just three or four of these ideas will do wonders for your romance. Is that too difficult to believe?
You’ll never know unless you try, right?